I have to admit that after waiting a year for season two of the Santa Clarita Diet I don’t really remember what happened last season. I was late starting since the season was released halfway through my vacation and I didn’t have a chance to start watching it. Then, when I got home, I was behind on posts and immediately started working on April’s streaming releases.
SPOILER ALERT – Proceed with caution if you do not want season two of the Santa Clarita Diet to be spoiled.
This season of Santa Clarita Diet was hilarious and well put together. I was hooked and watched it straight through. I rewatched the season to make sure that I didn’t miss a thing and would already have an idea of what would need to be included. There were a few quotes that I remembered and watched out for on the second go round. They left obvious holes for a third season, which will hopefully come before a whole year passes. The first is the Mr. Ball Legs that each of the zombies has. It is still unknown why they exist and what their purpose is. The second is Paul and Marsha. They mention finding everyone who had eaten the clams. The third is Anne. How will she serve Sheila? This is an ending that easily leads to more!
Episode four, “The Queen of England”, is my favorite. The little red ball is just too cute and Ramona’s fascination with finding her “Joel” made it! It was sad that she left at the end, knowing that you wouldn’t get to laugh at her grim and unenthusiastic demeanor anymore. Maybe she’ll come back in the next season.
Santa Clarita Diet Episode One:
“No Family Is Perfect”
Episode one begins with Joel in the hospital, Sheila chained in the basement, and Abby and Eric discussing how to get some Serbian bile. Abby leaves to get puke from a Serbian and, consequently, Sheila gets Eric to let her out. Worried that her daughter may be in trouble, Sheila and Eric leave to go find Abby. Abby arrives home to realize that she was followed by the Serbian guy. Sheila is right behind them and spares no time before killing the guy threatening her daughter. Joel is released from the hospital and makes his way home. With a $300 Serbian gallbladder in hand, he walks in to find Serbian splattered walls.
After scrubbing the kitchen clean of blood, Sheila returns to her chains in the basement. Shortly after, Joel and Abby join her.
Ramona calls Eric to ask him out. While she’s on the phone, you find out that she is also a zombie and has a refrigerator full of ex-boyfriend.
“I shall retire to another room at once to produce the precious nectar of my stomach.” – Serbian Guy
“Our kitchen looks like the inside of a shark.” – Joel
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Two:
“Coyote In Yoga Pants”
The next morning, Sheila wakes Joel and Abby with heavy breathing and leaves them for the desert. She learns that chasing animals in the desert channels her bloodlust and may prevent her from killing.
After getting Joel to agree, Sheila and her husband go to ask for a job on a new development. Carl tells them to bring him a high-end listing and they can have the new development. They go to speak with the owner of the home and are interrupted by Chris and Christa (their rivalry realtors). After trying to figure out a way to undermine Chris and Christa, Sheila realizes that they need to put their customer first. They go back to the house and are interrupted once again.
Blaming Chris for leaving the door open, they let Rachel (the dog) out. Sheila, returning with the dog in her arms, wins over the owner of the house. After bringing the listing back to Carl, they look at the development plans and realize that the houses are being built above Gary’s grave. They rush to move Gary’s body and find him still living, kind of.
Meanwhile, Abby and Eric go to the Serbian’s house to delete their email exchange. A problem arises when the computer’s lock system requires a fingerprint. They find a thumb that Sheila left behind and use it to unlock the computer. As they finish, they are surprised by two more people (Paul and Marsha) breaking into the Serbians apartment. After Abby and Eric leave, you find out that the two others are there for the remaining Serbian bile.
“If this helps you be less murdery, that’s great. My concern is if someone sees you running around snatching rabbits like a coyote in yoga pants they might start asking questions like ‘What the fuck is that?’” – Joel
“Well make up your mind Joel. Am I a coyote in yoga pants or a greyhound at a racetrack?” – Sheila
“Duh. Check out those getaway sticks. Boom.” – Lisa
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Three:
“Moral Grey Area”
After finding Gary alive, episode three starts with Sheila and Joel discussing what to do with Gary’s living head. They decide to bury the rest of him and take the head home. Gary requests that they give his house in Michigan to his niece Kayla before finishing the job.
Abby tells her parents about a murder and they question if Sheila is the only zombie out there. Meanwhile, Eric goes home with Ramona and finds a body in her bathtub. Thinking she may kill him, he calls Abby to come save him. Abby shows up forty minutes later, having taken the wrong road, to find an undead Ramona in bed with Eric. They bring Ramona back to Abby’s house and give her the cure. After taking the serum, Ramona reveals that she was just using Eric and no longer needed him.
Sheila and Joel go to Kayla’s house to deliver the deed to Gary’s home and give her “news” about his disappearance. They tell her that he gave up all of his things to go help others in a remote location. Kayla bursts into tears and starts yelling about her ex-boyfriend Boone that stole her car. The couple agrees to get it back for her so that she can move on.
Sheila and Joel arrive at Boone’s house and make a deal to get the car for $350. While waiting for Boone to get the keys to the car, they realize that he is a Nazi. While contemplating whether or not Sheila should eat the single Nazi, his friend comes in and reveals that he is selling raffle tickets for his Nazi ball team. Sheila buys the whole booklet of tickets and claims that it is her lobster tank.
“I don’t know. I woke up one morning, vomited, died, then went on a hike, some jogger yelled at me to get out of his way, and I smashed his head in with a rock and ate his brain.” – Ramona
“Get the tarps out of the car, honey, because we just found our young single Hitler.” – Sheila
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Four:
“The Queen of England”
Episode four starts off with Sheila and Joel confronting Gary about killing him. He confesses to them that he does not want to die. After putting that situation on hold, they go meet Ramona and talk to her about being careful when she kills people. They question her about when she turned, in an attempt to find out what changed Sheila into a zombie. After coming up short on similarities between Ramona and Sheila, they end up giving her the idea of getting a “Joel” for herself, since that is how Shelia covers her tracks.
At school, Abby is busy helping others. After hearing that Christian is humiliating another student, she smacks him in the face with a lunch tray.
Ramona goes to see Eric and confesses her feelings for him to get her own “Joel” and ends up at dinner with Sheila and Joel. Eric explains when they get there that Ramona thinks that he is her “Joel” and wants him to go help her kill someone after dinner. A fight breaks out after trying to explain to Ramona that you can’t steal someone to be a “Joel”. After a few interruptions from Lisa, Ramona understands that she’ll have to build a relationship with someone to get what she wants. She decides to move to Seattle and find her real “Joel”.
At Ramona’s apartment, deciding what to do with her Mr. Ball Legs, Joel finds a take-out bad from Japopo’s. Both Sheila and Ramona had the clam special before changing into zombies.
“She said she wants me to be her Joel. Does that ring any bells for anyone? Joel?” – Eric
“Felt good not to kill Ramona. I like not killing people. I’ve always liked it. I just forgot how much.” – Joel
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Five:
Joel goes straight to Japopo’s to get a copy of the receipts from the night that Ramona and Sheila had the clam special. After telling the owner that he is making a documentary on tipping, he agrees to share the receipts if Joel will change the review he posted on Yelp.
Meanwhile, Sheila works out with Anne and finds out that she is interested in the murders happening around in Santa Clarita. In an attempt to talk her into leaving the murders alone, Sheila talks Anne into looking deeper into the murders.
To keep their murders clean, Sheila and Joel move everything out of the house and into storage. One storage unit is dedicated to killing and they lure the Nazis in with flyers for WWII memorabilia. The flyers work and two Nazis show up to look at the memorabilia listed in the flyer.
Joel apologizes to Sheila for telling Ron that she was undead and realizes that “I was wrong.” is all he needs to write in his Yelp review for Japopo’s. Ron is at the restaurant talking to Paul and Marsha, but doesn’t give them any information.
Abby and Eric decide to do something about the fracking in Santa Clarita.
“What if one of the Nazi’s is in a wheelchair.” –Joel
“You’re worse than my Jew landlord.” – Nazi
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Six:
This episode begins with Abby and Joel going through the receipts from Japopo’s. They find three people that had the clam special: Sheila, Ramona, and Colonel Ed Thune. The couple decides that Joel will go talk to Ed and Sheila will go to a meeting with Carl for work.
Sheila pitches the idea of a sustainable smart-house to Carl and he shuts her down. Trying to contain herself, her eye goes sideways. She meets Eric to make sure she isn’t getting worse and he tells her that her goo is the same as it was when she took the serum. Sheila returns to work to meet with the investor. After the investor loses interest in Carl, Sheila admits to having another idea. Carl ignores Sheila and continues on. Growing nervous and full of anger, Sheila bites her finger off while Carl is showing the investor his original idea.
Joel is invited inside while questioning Ed about his Japopo’s visit. Ed claims that he didn’t have the clams but his date may have. He brings Joel into the kitchen to get his dates number but decides that it is in the basement. Joel, refusing to go to the basement, is left alone in Ed’s kitchen and is caught looking through the freezer when Ed returns. After he is asked to leave, Joel insists that Ed eat a Danish with him to prove that he isn’t a zombie. Ed eats the Danish but loses his hand skin while shaking hands with Joel. Ed goes full zombie and Joel kills him (and his Mr. Ball Legs).
Abby and Eric decide that they are going to vandalize the frackers billboard.
“Does Sven know your mother and I are constantly looking for people to kill?” – Joel
“What good is a housing development when a rabid army of flesh-eating goons are roaming the streets?” – Joel
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Seven:
“A Change of Heart”
Continuing from episode six, Sheila and Joel are trying to figure out how to reattach her finger and how she is going to continue working with Carl. Sheila decides that she wants to continue working on the project and meet with the investor to present her eco-friendly homes since Carl will not be present.
Eric slips up while talking about how to find the clams that are turning people into zombies and tells on Abby for the “tray thing”. Abby explains to them what happened and why she did it. Sheila and Joel decide that it is best to take Abby to apologize. The next day, they go to Christian’s house and blackmail Abby into apologizing for whacking him with a lunch tray. Before Abby apologizes, Chris and Christa come home and find out about Christian’s assault.
Sheila, Joel, and Abby leave Christians house and go to see the principle to confess. Upon confessing, principal Novak decides to expel her. Taking things into their own hands, Sheila and Joel decide to use Sheila’s detached finger as ammunition to make Principal Novak change his mind. He takes back the expulsion and gives her three days suspension instead.
While everyone else is at Christian’s house, Eric goes to Japopo’s to get the seafood distributor’s name that sold them the faulty clams. The owner kicks him out, but he sneaks into the back. After sneaking into the owner’s office and locking himself inside, Eric calls Joel to help him get out of the restaurant. While waiting for Joel to show up, Eric finds the name of the distributor with the zombie clams.
Sheila arrives at her investor meeting and is shocked by Carl pulling into the parking spot next to hers. After he begins yelling at her, she pulls out her stress ball. Eric finds her hours later in their driveway covered in blood with no memory of what happened.
“I can lose parts and reattach them, like a snowman.” – Sheila
“How would you like it if I put my foot so far up your perfect little ass that you won’t find it until you shit it out on Christmas morning?”
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Eight:
“Easels and War Paint”
Episode eight begins with Sheila still in the car covered in blood. Joel questions her whereabouts to learn that Sheila has no memory of what happened after showing up for her meeting. Surprised, Sheila begins squeezing her stress ball again, which has been replaced by a human heart. After checking the storage units for a body, they decide to leave a voicemail on Carl’s phone (thinking she rage killed Carl). After leaving the message, Carl shows up to inform them that Sheila left before the meeting started and fires her.
Lisa comes over and gives Sheila and Joel more information about the prior day. Lisa and Anne ran into Sheila outside their house. She talked Lisa into getting baptized and Anne into painting instead of investigating. Lisa tells Sheila that she deserves the lobster she was going to get. With Lisa still in their kitchen, Abby looks into the freezer and finds the body of one of the Nazis.
Abby and Eric work on their plan to vandalize the fracking sign. Abby tells Lisa that she and Eric are going on a date to get Dan’s old night vision goggles. Lisa insists on giving Abby a makeover in return for the goggles. While looking in the mirror and getting the goggles from Lisa, she notices the tactical gear in the closet.
Since the dead Nazi was wearing a work uniform, Sheila and Joel decide to check out the impound lot where he worked. They look around and don’t see any blood or body parts. After realizing there is a camera, they go inside to find the tape from the night before. Reviewing the footage reveals what Sheila did the night before. After staring at the Nazi, a violent fight breaks out. Sheila kills the Nazi, cleans up the mess, and leaves. They delete the footage, but not before Sheila realizes that Joel is right about her not working.
“No dad, come look, the lack of strawberries is appalling.” – Abby
“There’s a dead guy in our freezer and they don’t know how he got there but I’ve ruled out suicide.” – Abby
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Nine:
Joel heads to Ruby’s Clams to investigate. Posing as a wanna-be clam distributor, Joel asks Ruby for more information about her methods. Using danishes, once again, he determines that she is safe and accepts her invitation inside. Ruby shows Joel her one-of-a-kind, Serbian clams and denies his offer to buy all 5,000. She tells him that they are not for sale because she has buyers lined up for the next day and wants to quit her day job. After Joel leaves, Paul and Marsha show up.
Shiela, after working out, goes to see Anne’s paintings. Labeled “suspicious objects”, the paintings outline her murder spree and imply that Joel is a suspect. Joel calls her about the clams and she tells him that there is another problem. Joel shows up to look at the paintings and Anne explains the theory she has. With her theory right on target, they take the painting of Joel and head home.
Abby and Eric argue about explosives and Abby’s decision to blow up a building.
Eric, trying to find a way to kill all the clams, comes up short. Electricity, antifreeze, and bleach were all unsuccessful. Abby suggests that fire may work since a picture in the Serbian spell book shows a large fire. They decide to steal the clams and bring them to a kiln to burn.
After showing up to steal the clams, Ruby comes home and threatens them with her shotgun. Meanwhile, Paul and Marsha are getting ready to blow up the clams. The first shot is a miss and surprises Ruby, Sheila, and Joel. They all go outside just in time and the clams are blown to bits.
Anne comes over right after Sheila and Joel get home to inform them that they inspired her to push forward with her theory. After connecting more of the links together, her boss listened. He boss suggested that she take the case to homicide.
“Thank you for mouse-splaining explosives to me.” – Abby
“We need to destroy these ginger bitches tonight.” – Joel
“Teenagers can even make the apocalypse about them.” – Joel
Santa Clarita Diet Episode Ten:
The nervous couple discusses what to do next since the case is going to homicide detectives. Joel recommends leaving and sending Abby to a family member while Sheila suggests that they just prove that Gary isn’t dead. Sheila and Joel go to the storage unit and tell Gary their plan. After a few hilarious tries, Gary leaves an acceptable message for the two to plant for the homicide team. He then asks Sheila and Joel to kill him.
Sheila and Joel give the burner phone to Abby and Eric to plant in the closet with Dan’s tactical equipment. With the phone in place, the two put everything back just in time for Anne to walk in. Abby calls the burner phone with Anne within hearing distance. Anne, after finding the phone, believes that her investigation is ruined. In a last attempt to find something, she sends the phone off to be analyzed.
Anne tells Sheila and Joel that she sent the phone off to recover deleted messages and they decide to pack up and leave. Abby informs Eric about what has happened and they decide to kiss. After all of their necessary belongings are packed and being loaded into the car, Anne walks over to thank them for being such good friends. When asked what they are doing, they tell her that Lisa’s baptism inspired them to donate their belongings. Anne ends up with Sheila’s bracelets, Joel’s guitar and clothes, and their toaster oven. Before heading back home, Anne gets a call from the tech department. The burner phones Sheila bought were so cheap that they couldn’t recover any deleted messages.
Later that night, Sheila and Joel take Gary to the desert to kill him for good. Meanwhile, Anne realizes that the noise coming from the bracelets she got from Sheila sounds familiar. She races out to the desert (tracking their cell phones to find them) to confront the murderous couple. She accuses them of burying a body, explaining that the bracelets gave them away. Sheila takes the blame for the murders, making Joel take a stand against Anne. After letting Joel and Anne go back and forth a bit, Sheila charges at Anne. As a result, she is shot in the stomach and noticeably doesn’t react. She tells Anne the truth about dying, coming back to life, and Gary.
The episode ends with Anne asking Sheila, “How can I serve you.”
“Look I haven’t even done anything and it says fart.” – Eric
“The only things I believe in enough to put on a pillow are I’m winging it and all races taste the same.” – Sheila
“It was always gonna be me.” – Sheila